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| a little bit of updating... first of all- congrats to the dearest couple ivy & frank who had a beautiful wedding ceremony (coz i was their maid of honour ho ho ho  ) on 16.5.09!! praise the lord everything went very smoothly and they're still on their sweet honeymoon as i'm writing. i successfully lost 7lbs in 2 wks while almost running everyday... but also successfully GAINED IT ALL BACK 10 days later -____-" anyway... i also finished my 11th half marathon!!! this time running the whole race with ballball!!! my dear dear bro who completed his first! so proud of him  and roland beat us by 5mins... anyway God was so faithful and helped us all through~   
  
 
  
 
  
  
work has been pretty busy coz we're now short staffed... but just got a pay rise this wk! hopefully they'll back pay us back to july which was when we were supposed to receive this payrise. but i'm happy anyway :) yesterday i had a pretty rough wee wee poopoo and fart + vomit day -_-" first patient was a cystogram, grumpy old man who wouldnt stop whining!!! i know i accidently made a bit of mess (u would expect that right?! changing catheters with 3 tips in 2 hands! 2 having weewee and 1 with contrast which is sticky) but i had apologised a few times and offered for him to change his gown and got him new sheets and blankets but he just wouldnt stop complainig! and said, "dont u have ways to prevent this from happening??" so i couldnt hold any longer, even with andrew (my lovely boss) behind me i said to the patient, "i'm the one who has to clean up all this after u, of course i tried my best to prevent it." (i almost wanted to add "will u stop complaining u grumpy man!") afterwards andrew told me not to take it in coz he is just like that, no matter how much i apologise or explain to him... sigh... anyway... then i had this 90yr old confused lady who wouldnt stop talking about random things as i was about to xray her chest and abdomen. then suddenly in the middle of her weird stories she goes "oh i'm passing waters" i immediately looked at the end of her bed, she had no cathetre attached (she just got admitted through emergency) so i panicked a bit and asked "would u like a bedpan?" "no i'm finished" and smiled at me........ then this other big lady after her xrays she said she needed to wee, and it was already past the beginning of my lunch i thought of getting a nurse to do it so i could go and eat but then i thought oh well i can do that too so i got her a bed pan, came back 2mins later she said she hasnt started she needed to concentrate on it (she had her right 5th metatarsal operated- side of her foot- so she cant get up) so i went and heated up my "jong" as it was dragon boat festival yesterday! (i was going to share it with this chinese lady on 7th floor i got to meet her when i helped translate for her a couple of times this week, she's from chiu jau too!) went back again a couple of minutes later she still wasnt ready... come on just a wee i need to have my lunch with chan por por coz she's having mri in half an hr i dont wanna miss her coz i promised her i'd visit her today! then andrew saw me still running around and asked why havent i gone to lunch, i told him my patient is taking soooo long to pee and he said, "having a bad wee wee day there grace?"  finally done that and brought the "jong" to chan por por, her son was there too! he must have thought wow staff at the san are super friendly even sharing their lunches! but the nurse saw me and said the patient isnt allowed solid food  so i chatted for a bit and went back to radiology and shared it with carol (we call her grandma wong coz she's only 50 and has a grandchild already! i love her she's so nice) then in the arvo i had to translate for a lam por por who's 90 from hk (4th time translating this wk! i should start charging!) and she told me she needed to go toilet, and i saw the catheter so i told her she can do it coz it's safe, she hesitated a bit, and i asked, "orr see ding orr liu" "orr see" (poop) woooooow i ran at my fastest speed to grab a bed pan and a nurse saw and helped me, she came back a few seconds later from lam por por and said to me, "too late" hmm.... then my last patient was a 50yr old man from icu for chest and abdo xray, obviously he was sick coz he wouldnt stop farting in the room!! he then vomited in a bag and handed straight in my face to throw it for him... arrghhhhhh i can stand wee, poo, fart, blood, anything but vomit makes me sick!! >< and i was in there for 20mins and finally got used to the smell that when amy came in to help me wheel him out she asked me, "how could u work in there grace??" "can u smell it? i think i'm used to it already" what a tasteful fun day tiger!!!!! even got a huge bruise from rushing and walking into a corner *cries* just make sure u dont hurt ur bloooooody fingers now!!! well of course these days the biggest thing is preparing for my AMUSA!!! i managed to organise a recital at the san next thu and put up a few posters around radiology, theaters, icu, recovery and cathlab where i have a few friends :) they're so sweet and supportive! everyday at work i have people coming up to me asking how my fingers are, whether i was practising hard or feeling very nervous *^^* and on sat when eilish let me off half an hr early, she looked at the clock and said, "grace, i'm letting u go 31mins early so practise an extra 31mins on the piano!" hehe i'm so excited! thanks for all the sweet phone calls and sms hunnies asking how my practices are going. the last few wks i've managed to practise at the con in my very exam room 7 nights already! THANKS SO MOON SUN III!~~~ i'll have to get her a big bday/thank u pressie next wk, whether i pass or not, i'm sure i'll psychologically feel a lot more calm now that i'm a lot more used to that piano (C. Bechstein, absolutely divine, even better than steinway i reckon!) this sunday is the northern beaches eisteddfod, leo sai lo is coming with me at least i have a tiny bit of support he's done this one many times maybe he could give me a few tips? last night after piano lesson, i played through all 4 pieces to sorina for the first time, at the end of that she said, "grace, i think u might have a chance to pass" waaa... i didnt know wat to say, i dare not let myself think of the possibility to pass, really, i'm so scared, i dont wanna get my hopes up, not that i'm being too negative, i'm just very realistic, specially i've already failed this once. i know that God has been soooo gracious this time, letting me do it on 13th june which is the very last day of this exam period so that i could still enjoy the wedding and do my marathon; having julie studying masters at the con so she could let me in to practise at night when securities have gone; giving me all this support from my family, teacher, friends, b&s and colleagues, i know He is way too kind to me already. i just want to perform my best and share my God given music with my loved ones in the upcoming recitals~ then 3 days after amus, will be my tonsillectomy!! hmm i'm not actually scared of this operation, i'm kinna excited to go under general anaesthetic hehehe then lying at home for a few days doing nothing but eating icecream and reading "gum yong" or watching korean drama!! i can finally "have a break"!! also need to start with at least loking at my dmu ultrasound diploma study outline and have a go a starting? well these are the things i'm embracing for in june! wish me luck! i mean, pray for me! ^^" just extended my flight i'll heading to the northern hemisphere 22nd july! 1 wk in korea, now most likely also 1 wk short term missionary in conton west! wah... my jolly july is getting happier and happier, first with rach coming back home, jay chau, matt's 21st, ski, working bday, then my trip to hk + seoul + (hopefully) missionary... God please help me get through june peacefully and enjoy my bday jolly july!!~~~ just started as the prayer partner of irene babe's as she's doing this "sarm fok" course, this helps me concentrate on praying everyday! add oil girl, fight for Him! :) ok enough blogging going to practise piano now then go to work... hopefully it wont be too busy so that i can memorise general knowledge.... so much to study >< | | |
| at the moment, sitting that the nurses desk doing a late shift on anzac saturday, last patient i did was already an hr ago~ what a peaceful night :) work has been tiring lately, specially the week just before easter that i hurt my neck (but the beautiful thai massage made it much better~) i did 11 theatre cases in 1 night, absolute record! go tiger! :P finished my cathlab training, now rostered there for a day or 2 every couple of weeks, quite enjoy the atmosphere there, a lot more laid back as a radiographer, and steve is such a great teacher & friend  a couple of things have changed, people leaving (in fact, 2 of my best mates from work leaving within a month) our department bought a new digital mammogram machine (hopefully i can learn to squash some boobies with it soon!) had a fire few weeks ago which was just wow... power down for almost 24hrs, being the morning shift person (and the only radiographer doing xrays the very next day) walking in pitch black doing mobiles of icu pts in special care nursery; theatres were down, clinic closed etc... volunteered extra half shift the day after, but it was very specialy (even the smell!) 2009 is looking a little challenging, but so far i can sum it up as a time of preparation for me, in terms of family, career, friends, extra life experience, piano and small personal issues. a few puzzles have been slowly put into a bigger picture recently (by my always caring God~) and i'm excited yet a little afraid that i might not be able to handle them all. the most urgent matter for now is of course my amus >< counting down 7 wks to go, will it be the prime of my piano performing life? i cant afford to fail again, i dont have the time & $$... i wanna get it, so that i can keep teaching later on, maybe even get a teaching certificate with ameb later, much later... atm practising only 2hrs on average, not even 7days a wk (eg today -_-") but i know its already going a lot better than last time, father spare me some grace with amus! i almost dont dare to ask but pleeeease >"< reading a lot more on general knowledge too, and getting excited that if i could be in uk next yr, i wanna visit chopin's grave in paris, listen to concerts in germany, visit the old music schools in vienna~ started teaching melvin's younger bro ryan, he is so gorgeous! i always tell their mum if i were to have 2 boys i hope they're just like hers! ryan's 5, he is so smart he can read so well, he's doing yr1 maths homework and extra take home reading, practises half an hr everyday without being asked! i'm so grateful to be their teacher~ melvin's going for his 4th grade exam in a few wks, he's very bright too even though music might not be his best talent :) now the next thing for me to do is to re-enrol myself with the DMU (diploma of medicine in ultrasound) course which will require me to self study (ie self discipline ie not a very tiger-y thing!) and complete 2 exams in early november (instead of doing 1 of them in july coz according to plan i shall be busy flying to korea from hk!) thank God so much for letting me do this coz i went through so much negotiating whether i could do them both in november or i'd have to give it all up as i'd like to travel! i'm not 100% sure whether i'll be doing ultrasound, but this course is a cheaper start and hopefully after this i'll be a bit better with my anatomy and pathology and know more about ultrasound~ will i be a part time sonographer and part time piano teacher one day? or doing both plus serving in china? i dunno... but You know~ couple of rather sad things are also occupying my mind a lot lately, one of them i had never ever ever ever expected and i think i'm still trying to accept this whole thing, havent really had a huge cry over it yet, hopefully i dont need one? (coz i've been crying almost half the days of 2009 already) but i was so amazed to realise what i had learnt from last yr could be applied now. even though it was nothing compared to this, but still within the same scale just at different levels. father please help me comfort and understand her, and continue to love and support him, they're way too dear for me to neglect the slightest, i need the wisdom~ tonight i found out that one of my dear colleague, a loving mother of 2 young girls, needs to move out within 2 wks coz her husband decided to discontinue their marriage. and even recently asked her whether he could meet other girls... 13yrs of marriage, he suddenly decided to end it, and now going to gym to lose weight, getting very excited for his new happy life. wow... men... even after 40... (or should i say even more so at middle age?) i held her so tight and started crying, i knew she has been upset and sent her flowers a couple of weeks ago but didnt expect this... her dog and her mum died within the last 12months and now this... i couldnt believe she's still working full time while most of us dont have a clue. she likes me a lot so she told me everything tonight coz we havent had a chance during busy weekdays, and i held her hands and prayed with her (i havent prayed with a non-christian for a while, thanks father for this chance) life is so amazing hey the other thing is still the same thing... same guy... same concerns... and i'm just as indecisive as i have always been... argh its frustrating but i know this is part of the process! just then i was thinking, if it werent for the biological constrictions that i should idealy have babies around 30yrs old, i might be travelling more, staying single as long as possible doing my own thing before i settle down with that 1 man of my life, because a few yrs just isnt enough for me to predict our marriage for the rest of our lives? of course, i trust that God wont let me marry the "wrong guy" so to speak... i have faith but i guess i'm also a little selfish and sometimes worry too much  also had a little misunderstanding with a friend, a very dear one actually... i believe i was trying to protect her too much that my role was getting too big in her decision... i didnt understand that until later on... who am i? not even her mother, nor sister (even rach might not listen to me everytime) so why so agitated grace? let it go, let her live her own life, it was given by God, not u, u can only be there and pray for her, for the rest of your dear dear precious friends~ another small lesson learnt  well there are also a couple of very very happy & exciting things head! ivy & franks wedding in 3 wks!! (last chance to lose weight!) just had the hens night last wkend she was really happy~ :) booked flights back to hk yesterday, just need to book the other one to SEOUL!!~ cant wait!! so glad grace & her family can have me for that week~ i must get them pressies before i leave! and i'll be seeing yeayea porpor sin yee pak fu goo ma lo biu fungfung alice & perhaps primary school friends? (i hope i can pack them all in 48hrs!!!) its not my first time going holiz overseas "solo", still remember after hsc went to taipei staying with cherry & sally :) its gonna be very humid in korea in july, kimchi i'm thinking of u everyday!! and the possibly one big step for me next yr------------- BRITAIN!!! well nothing has been confirmed yet, still in the process of researching, going to an info night on tue, hopefully gonna start filling in so working visa forms in the next couple of months (unless they need to keep my passport then i'll wait till after korea) and contacting radiography agencies over there, getting my radiation liscence (£200!!!!!) i dont expect to have a smooth luxury career over there at all (the san is just exceptional these 2 yrs) but i know i need to step out, and try to live "independently" hopefully wont be asking daddy for $$ >"< wanna learn to "go to the bank" (i always hear people say that but i never need to do that) plan my own weekend without worrying about any other people (not that i wanna ditch mum & dad i know i'll miss them TERRIBLY!!) take the tube around, watch musicals at broadway (i've been dreaming of that since yr10) and visit as many parts of europe as possible on the wkends~ well with the given salary... i MUST start saving now!! hmm its about 1230am just finished another 3 patients, haha this 95yr old man from norway came into emergency and i xrayed his chest. he was so lovely and cheerful but he's had a hard life. 40yrs ago he was seriously injured in a plane crash that he had to stay at the san hospital for 2 yrs ... but he could still stand up tonight for the xrays and he needed to go home asap to take care of his 86 yr old wife who's lost all her memory... but he kept asking if he could take me home as a souvenier from the hospital coz i was so pretty  he was asking how many boyfriends i have and i said "none", "nine?" "no, none" "wow nine", "no no no zero, no boyfriends" "wat? such a beautiful girl?" hahaha alright enough blabbing grace turn off all the lights and go home to mum dad & dimsim~ eunice dear's graduation~  
ivy's hens~  
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| been back again from another hk trip! this time was during chinese new yr, of course had a lot of previous time with my dear family~ as usual, ate a lot, surprisingly, didnt shop a lot but still spent heaps!  well we went to thailand for a few days, that was unforgettable! dunno when the next time will be when us cousins can have our own holiday again, thanks father~ a very nice surprise was to see a lot of my primary school friends! i really hope we can keep in contact... thanks facebook! it was a good time to get away, from a couple of things... from a couple of people... now that i'm back, God has even extended those times for me in His own ways... it's funny that i laugh in frustration! another valentines day... someone was married, others got engaged, and few others broke up... i had a peaceful one, happy just to be with my dear friends, and family telling me they love me~ my heart is still depressed from other sad news, lots of insights though, i am seriously imagining my own funeral~ i dont wanna be barried together with thousands of others, perhaps somewhere quiet, next to a big maple tree? dont want an engraved stone, just write it with small pieces of rocks. well i'd like lillies and roses please if my children & grandchildren come visit  the next few months for tiger... try my best to read the Bible every night, try to go to fellowships on friday nights, self study on cardiac things whilst training in cath lab, save $$ for my next holiday (hopefully to seoul in july! and maybe skiing?) practise piano everyday (minimum 2hrs) and lose 6kg for ivy's wedding! >< so far i've been practising piano everyday for the past 8 days, i havent done that for more than a yr! and i can already tell the difference... if i dont pass this time... i dunno... i have so much i wanna do i must get amus out of my way!!! god help me, please, help me discipline myself, give me the wisdom to manage my time, and grant me self control!!! to cut down social life... (sorry hunnies) however must keep myself healthy (therefore i can go rock climbing or wing chun kung fu class with my babies) all the way up to half marathon in may and perhaps even a marathon in july? hmm tiger always has too much on her plate... just remember to have quiet times everyday, to pray, to reflect, and to submit! praying for dad's right eye... pressure's still very high, when will all this fuss stop? praying for fung fung's A level starting in 5 wks. rach and ball's uni again. and giving thanks for just having a very stable job that i enjoy, if i had graduated a yr later, i probably would still be unemployed... this yr praying harder on any kind of vision, i thought i had it once, but i'd like to confirm it! | | |
| i've been thinking a lot about how to write this blog... i think i'll have a lot to say... another year has passed... i've finished my PDY! this is one of the biggest piece of my life puzzle, i'm evermore too grateful from the moment i received the phone call offering me my first full time job~ everyday, i can thank God for many things at work, whether i've learnt something new, met someone special, experienced sad moments, exhausted night/weekend shifts, making silly mistakes, getting used to smelling burnt skin, hearing the sound of cracking bones/joints, seeing saggy balls/boobs, touching all kinds of body fluids, bumping my head and kicking my ankles into things that i cant even remember, waking myself by speeding & loud music at 3,4am after being called in for urgent cases (very bad example dont follow!) sharing tears & laughters with patients & colleagues, praying for screeming patients in pain etc etc He was with me all the time~ week after week, month after month, i cant believe that i'm still loving my job so much!! However, i was feeling a bit guilty for missing 5 sunday services due to shift work, since i was born i've missed less than 10 services until last year! but through that talk a few wks ago, you reassured me that serving you doesn't have to be at church only, as long as I am doing it for you, i can do it anywhere for anyone. I may have given myself a break from "church serving" last year, but i will go back to fellowship this year. Father, you always give me unpredictable grace, far more than what i could hope for, may i continue to spread your joy and shine your love in my career~ this year, i will be trained in cardiac cathaterization lab and mammography (and hopefully a bit of CT towards the end of the yr?) i must study again! and also show lots of interest in ultrasound, hopefully be able to study it in 2010? otherwise i'm off to UK! well, we'll see~ but firstly, i must practise piano very very hard! i mean more than half an hr a day grace!! grrrr >"< if i dont pass amus this time... if i dont pass again... sigh... come on grace! lose a few pounds to fit nicely into your bridesmaid dress & practise piano, thats all ur doing after work until may!! God help me! a year ago tonight, i came back to sydney by myself, struck by something that i thought would leave a big permanent scar for life. but a year later today, home alone for 2 wks again, i have a lot more peace than i could ever imagine, thought i would need company every night or cry myself to sleep again, but no, God has healed me~ that incident seems less and less significant, we're good friends again, and it can only get better. there is nothing more precious, thank you my Lord. the only thing that saddens me now (apart from my family being away, actually i really enjoy being alone sometimes) is my brutal words to someone very special this morning. i really cant believe i could do such thing, i feel terrible, i've done this to many others before, but never this difficult... but i have faith that there were big lessons to be learnt, He has everything prepared already~ it's been a big 2008 for our whole family (just like what we had predicted on 31st dec 2007) dad had another operation to his eye, very fluctuating eye pressure in the last couple of years, finally started to settle down just in the last 2 wks! mum's loving her job as a casual nurse @ a nursing home, so much to share after she comes home from work, talking about this porpor, that bak bak, just like me :P rach, of course, is our biggest adjustment to life this year! i cant believe it's been a yr since she's away from home! hmm although it has cost me a bit to fly up there 6 times to visit her, it wont stop me from doing the same this yr! (specially with the new apartment!!!!! i'm gonna use the facilities and enjoy the beach front view so much that it'll be worth the rent!) she's growing up, i cant exactly describe it in detail, but she's changing... and i'm still trying to adapt to it, it's so hard!!! but i need to learn as well, just keep praying for her grace, u're still the most important person in her life dont worry :P also ga tse came to syd la, and jessica & martin too! had good times with them and ballball~ father bless them with ur unfailing love, let them put you first in all aspects of their lives~ thank you that our cousins are so close we're just like bros & sis! i cant wait to see them all on 18th! we havent had EVERYBODY in the Cheng family for a long time!! including ball, samuel and our family!! i'll miss not being able to live in luk yeung, but as long as i can see & eat chiu chow congee with yea yea every morning when i wake up, then visit porpor and read bible with her, thats worth most of my hk trip already! i cant wait i cant wait i cant wait!! also to see fung fung + family, clarant, chauchau, other frds from syd now back in hk, and friends from my home church! and last but not least, the food & the shopping~~~ had a great night tonight, seeing some old friends from school again. thank God for each one of them, there is much work for me to do! keep praying for them grace, u mustnt lose ur chance! it's eunice's first day of her first full time job tmr, i'm excited & nervous for her!! add oil girl, God has taken u to this point, helped u passed all exams, now graduating and working! we dunno wat's ahead, but we know He holds your future and holds your hand~ MUAH! on our way home tonight, eunice said i'm very sentimental after i said i'll make some food to bring in to work to celebrate my one year work anniversary, i guess this word will stay by me for life, a lot of things that i do, i consider a lot more than i should, sometimes it makes me way too indecisive, but thats just me, i cant help thinking about others first, coz i care about so many other people in my life, they're all important to me in different ways, and helped shaped me me. i guess its better than to be too selfish? (i'm not trying to sound all great & sacrificing at all) father thank you for your comfort through the sermon today, that all the graces & blessings you've given me, are not really just for me, they're for others around me who i must continue to pass them to. please rebuild me once again, so that i may take part in your kingdom, and reach out to souls that you eargerly want to save. embrace me to experience your awesome love in more surprising ways again this new year. thank you Lord, i love you | | |
| This is my 2nd Christmas in Australia~ I'm not quite sure how I should spend it! so... i'll do wat i've been enjoying doing for the past yr, serve my Lord through serving my patients at work~ these couple of days.. really weird feeling... i'm not liking it, i'm actually hating myself for just feeling it, why why why... wat am i gonna do... why do i feel guilty? God please, this is confusing me >< anyway... daddy's going back to hk tmr... and i'll be going soon too, cant wait to see grandpa! and cousins~ | | |
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